~reposted to this blog from my own - some of you may remember it from a few months back~I went out to the woods today, and had another long “think”… 'tis frightening that I think so much, but quite productive, if you ask me. ;)
“Candyland romance”, as I like to term it, has been a topic that has severely lain on my mind for the last couple of months, but never worked itself into words. Now perhaps I can lay it out to you in a way that will make at least as much sense as it does to me.
I’ve grown up in a more-or-less conservative community, and I shall say right now that I am INTENSELY thankful for that fact. Growing up among (seemingly) conservative people was one of the greatest blessings I have had, and it has been very interesting to grown up among such peers. Rather, at one time they were peers, but I have seen a subtle change in these people as the years have progressed… one so slight that it has take n much intense observing to see it, and even more to put it into words.
The first time I noticed this change was around 13 or 14, when we young folks came out of the idea that “guys-gals have cooties” stage and parents began making relationship decisions on courting, dating, dorting, etc, etc…
( I make no comment on any of these options.. I have my own opinion, as well you know, but now is not the time to go into that…) To whit, a lot of us stopped playing “Mother, may I” and things began changing.
For one thing, (at least on the gal’s side of the coin), most of the discussions became totally senseless, long and boring discussions on how “Cay-uuute” so-and-so was, etc… then, people started “pairing up”, and things got interesting.
To break off from the diatribe, I want to point out what (I see) was lacking - a serious mind toward things of serious importance. And, while that is perhaps understandable in a middle-schooler, one would hope that it would pass… but it has not.
To use one of my former best friends as a example… this dear young lady gave me QUITE a account about how wonderful, cute, sweet, adorable, and etc. her boyfriend was, and I, being in a evil mood, began asking questions… (And I think made her fairly mad in the process, which was honestly not my intention.) Anyway, this “most wonderful feller in the world” turns out to be a non-Christian, high school student who’s most interesting attribute was that ( and I nearly quote) ‘he’s not like most guys who are, like, ‘take offas much as you can’, but like, likes that I dress modest.” Oh, and he keeps her on the phone until 3 or 4 in the morning. *makes no comment*
If this was a single example, I would have little to say, because we all make mistakes… but, I see the same thing happening again and again… what is wrong? What are we lacking?
In a sentence: we are viewing marriage and romance as a game to be played, not as a serious, God-ordained relationship.
Things of God are to be taken seriously. Waiting for/finding a future spouse is not a game, it is a life changing event that should be considered as such.
Our culture hates that idea, do they not? Don’t they strive to promote the very opposite?
Now, I don’t want to hear the little “ well, you just have the long-faced and sack-cloth approach to life” remarks… anyone who knows me knows that nothing is further from the case! It’s not that I’m promoting a sad or mournful look on life, it’s that we have gone too far in the opposite direction! And I venture to say that we would actually be happier if we took this approach!
Where am I going with all this? 'Tis a hard question to answer. Perhaps it's best use is as a warning... because I love my peers, and it worries me to see them spend so much time and energy in the "fun" of the moment, only to see the pain it causes them later on, down the road... because of the horrific upward spurt in divorce... But, it's "use" aside, I call you... I beg you... now is the only "now" you will have ! Use this time to become more OF God... not just to tread the line!
“Candyland romance”, as I like to term it, has been a topic that has severely lain on my mind for the last couple of months, but never worked itself into words. Now perhaps I can lay it out to you in a way that will make at least as much sense as it does to me.
I’ve grown up in a more-or-less conservative community, and I shall say right now that I am INTENSELY thankful for that fact. Growing up among (seemingly) conservative people was one of the greatest blessings I have had, and it has been very interesting to grown up among such peers. Rather, at one time they were peers, but I have seen a subtle change in these people as the years have progressed… one so slight that it has take n much intense observing to see it, and even more to put it into words.
The first time I noticed this change was around 13 or 14, when we young folks came out of the idea that “guys-gals have cooties” stage and parents began making relationship decisions on courting, dating, dorting, etc, etc…
( I make no comment on any of these options.. I have my own opinion, as well you know, but now is not the time to go into that…) To whit, a lot of us stopped playing “Mother, may I” and things began changing.
For one thing, (at least on the gal’s side of the coin), most of the discussions became totally senseless, long and boring discussions on how “Cay-uuute” so-and-so was, etc… then, people started “pairing up”, and things got interesting.
To break off from the diatribe, I want to point out what (I see) was lacking - a serious mind toward things of serious importance. And, while that is perhaps understandable in a middle-schooler, one would hope that it would pass… but it has not.
To use one of my former best friends as a example… this dear young lady gave me QUITE a account about how wonderful, cute, sweet, adorable, and etc. her boyfriend was, and I, being in a evil mood, began asking questions… (And I think made her fairly mad in the process, which was honestly not my intention.) Anyway, this “most wonderful feller in the world” turns out to be a non-Christian, high school student who’s most interesting attribute was that ( and I nearly quote) ‘he’s not like most guys who are, like, ‘take offas much as you can’, but like, likes that I dress modest.” Oh, and he keeps her on the phone until 3 or 4 in the morning. *makes no comment*
If this was a single example, I would have little to say, because we all make mistakes… but, I see the same thing happening again and again… what is wrong? What are we lacking?
In a sentence: we are viewing marriage and romance as a game to be played, not as a serious, God-ordained relationship.
Things of God are to be taken seriously. Waiting for/finding a future spouse is not a game, it is a life changing event that should be considered as such.
Our culture hates that idea, do they not? Don’t they strive to promote the very opposite?
Now, I don’t want to hear the little “ well, you just have the long-faced and sack-cloth approach to life” remarks… anyone who knows me knows that nothing is further from the case! It’s not that I’m promoting a sad or mournful look on life, it’s that we have gone too far in the opposite direction! And I venture to say that we would actually be happier if we took this approach!
Where am I going with all this? 'Tis a hard question to answer. Perhaps it's best use is as a warning... because I love my peers, and it worries me to see them spend so much time and energy in the "fun" of the moment, only to see the pain it causes them later on, down the road... because of the horrific upward spurt in divorce... But, it's "use" aside, I call you... I beg you... now is the only "now" you will have ! Use this time to become more OF God... not just to tread the line!
~Katharine Davis
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