Wednesday, April 27, 2011

We Shall Be Judged...

Have you ever lived your life under intense scrutiny by others? Have you ever been harshly criticized by people who cannot understand what you believe? Have you ever found yourself the sources of jealousy for 'being in the lime light' when you hate being there?

I have been. And I think, perhaps, some of you have been as well.

I am, by no means, a famous person. But sometime the 'being watched through a microscope' is enough to drive a person mad.

I am an oldest child, the first in my [extended] family to be homeschooled, and one of the few homeschooled children in the area. I have made a decision to dress differently, and what I believe is more modestly. I have made the decision not to go to a 4-year college. I hope to be a stay-at-home mother. I don't 'date around'. I blog and write. I'm a doctor's daughter. I've been performing since I was 4 years old. I don't watch television. I'm not an [obviously] emotional person.

I am judged.

So are you.

It's not easy. It's tough sometimes, real, real tough. It's hard to be the person people turn to when they need emotional help. It is not always an honor.

There will be times when you are judged, both fairly and unfairly. Harshly and deservedly.

There will be times when you are forced into the limelight, much against your wishes.

Maybe you're the person people call up, crying, when they need help. Maybe you're the person people bring their relationship issues too. Maybe you find yourself as a role-model. Maybe you find yourself the object of a crush. Maybe you were asked to teach a class. The possibilities are endless.

Being in the lime light is terrifying for me. To me, messing up often equals failure, and I don't want others to see that. I like being in the background.

But we can't always have what we want.

So what do we do?

Not like I did, last time. I totally had an emotional melt down. That would be, officially, NOT the way to handle it.

Well then?

Pray. Pray a lot, pray hard and pray often. God does not allow us to 'be given more then what we can bear. There is a great deal of comfort in that promise. He sees that our puny humans forms cannot bear much.

Realize that messing-up isn't the end of the world. "Miss Perfectionism" speaking here. I cannot give you good advice, because this is something I am working on myself. But I know it is true.
Hang in there. Keep going, even when it's rough.
Most importantly, don't be paralyzed by judgement. It's God's judgement that we need to be fearful of, not man's.

You'll make it. So will I.

Take heart, my friend!

Joshua 1:9 "Do not be frightened and do not be afraid, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."


The Authoress said...

Great post! I can relate almost exactly. Thank you for "being different" as you do. You are an encouragement to other "different" people like me!

Mandy Iacampo said...

Great post! xD I know what you mean now(I was kinda confused last night ;) lol), & can "relate almost exactly" too.

Courtney said...

Thank you so much, dear Miss Kate. This was very much a word in season. May God continue to grant you His strength, comfort, courage, and joy as you continue to live for Him, both in times of solitude and when you are "under the microscope." Thank you again.