I must say. I strongly disapprove of snakes as a general rule. Spiders, coyotes, things that make weird, screechy noises at 2 in the morning… that, I can handle. As for snakes, I’m not scared of them, but I don’t want them anywhere near me. As in, never, ever want them near me. Esp. not largish ones.
You may then imagine my distress at finding, right outside our side door, a rather large (five-foot) black snake taking a siesta by the step… and the *ahem* very courageous and fearless uproar I created in order to bring my father on the scene. He does not appreciate my feelings on snakes. Nor does he bother to try:
“There’s a snake! Can you please remov…”
“Oh, cool! Wow, it’s big! Here, lie down beside of it and see how long it is, it’s gotta be five fee…”
“Dad. It’s going to go into the house. Please, do something with it!”
*insert fierce and ‘manly-man’ laugh* “It’s not going to go in the house! How’s it gonna do that??”
“Um… through that hole into the basement.”
“There’s not a hole into the basement.”
“I’m looking at it.”
Evidently the snake was looking at the hole as well, because… guess what… it promptly slithered into the hole. Into the basement.
“Oh, guess there was a hole there after all!”
Yes, guess there was. And guess who has to go down to the basement two or three times a day and prime the pump. Me. J It’s a good thing I’m not squeamish… I’d be dead!
Then. Then… there was the talking tree. That was most alarming.
I spend a lot of time in the woods… more when I was younger than I do now, but I love being outdoors, and I’ve always needed copious amounts of time to think and be alone. J So, it will not surprise you that I was in the woods when I met up with this most unusual tree.
I was out in the woods, leaning up against a sturdy and robust tree and probably entertaining myself with some story or the other when the tree uttered a sudden and somewhat alarming:
I tell you I jumped five feet into the air. Maybe more. Trees rarely address such remarks to such as me ! O..0 So I went up and began making loud banging noises around the tree, ( I was telling you the truth when I said I don’t easily get frightened) and the tree remarked:
Yes, it was a screech owl. But I tell you… anyone who hasn’t heard one… it is not a easy experience for one who has never experienced it before! Ugh! J (But it’s rather amusing in retrospect…)
And that was your nature lesson for the week. Now it is time for Algebra. Please open your books to page 12…